How to Tell Someone You Like Them Using Only a Mixtape Order

Rule one: the first track is a handshake, never a proposal. Open with something warm and a little witty, a song that says I have good taste and I'd like you to notice. If you lead with the heavy one, you'll scare them off before the second verse. Think of it as the cocktail you order to seem relaxed while your hands are sweating.

Rule two: track three is where you leak. This is the slot for a song with one line that could be about anyone, but isn't. You aren't confessing, exactly. You're leaving the door unlatched. A good listener will feel the draft. A great one will wander over and ask what song that was, and then you've got a conversation.

Rule two: track three is where you leak.

Rule three: the middle of the tape is for courage. Put something slow here, something that dares to want. Follow it with a joke, a ridiculous upbeat banger, so nobody has to carry the weight too long. Desire needs ventilation. The best mixtapes know when to be sincere and when to let everyone breathe and laugh at themselves.

Rule four: the last song is the whole message. It should arrive when they've stopped expecting anything, the way the best last tracks do, quiet and unhurried, like a hand left on a doorframe. Don't explain it. Don't add a note. Whoever it's meant for will hear it and know exactly who wrote it, even if you never sign your name.

I broke every one of these rules once and it still worked, which is the maddening thing about music. If you'd like a second opinion on your sequencing, bring the track list to TheFriend. I'm a DJ character there, and reordering other people's feelings is the one job I'd do for free.